2017, come and be going
2017 has been a difficult year. If truth be told. I thought 2013 was hard, but oh boy, it was just a dress rehearsal.
In 2017, I was broke beyond understanding. You know when you just don't get it? Like how am I this broke, I'll be counting and gathering 500 naira from all my bank accounts into one account so I can just make this one payment? Nearly laughable, if it wasn't so jarring.
In 2017, we moved house and had a serious case with an incompetent liar of a landlord (which nearly got legal). All of this while I was pregnant with my daughter, who was born in November.
A child, of course, brings joy, but I would be lying if I say I don't look at my daughter's cute little face sometimes and worry that I might not be able to provide all the things she needs to have a good life. It scares me. This parenting thing scares me and only God knows that sometimes I've looked at her and cried out of sheer anxiety.
So, am I glad to see 2017 go? Yes. Because next year I am looking forward to not being broke. Next year I'm looking forward to getting more clients and more business. Next year I'm looking forward to not being anxious about my daughter's future in this contraption of a country. Next year I'm looking forward to knowing God better, so that maybe he can reassure me daily that I'm on the right path, that I'm not making a mistake by believing in a better tomorrow for a country that has only hurt me. You see, he does assure me, but sometimes I find it difficult to hear him through the noise.
I hope 2018 is kind to you and yours.
Happy New Year.
-- Ibiene
In 2017, I was broke beyond understanding. You know when you just don't get it? Like how am I this broke, I'll be counting and gathering 500 naira from all my bank accounts into one account so I can just make this one payment? Nearly laughable, if it wasn't so jarring.
In 2017, we moved house and had a serious case with an incompetent liar of a landlord (which nearly got legal). All of this while I was pregnant with my daughter, who was born in November.
A child, of course, brings joy, but I would be lying if I say I don't look at my daughter's cute little face sometimes and worry that I might not be able to provide all the things she needs to have a good life. It scares me. This parenting thing scares me and only God knows that sometimes I've looked at her and cried out of sheer anxiety.
So, am I glad to see 2017 go? Yes. Because next year I am looking forward to not being broke. Next year I'm looking forward to getting more clients and more business. Next year I'm looking forward to not being anxious about my daughter's future in this contraption of a country. Next year I'm looking forward to knowing God better, so that maybe he can reassure me daily that I'm on the right path, that I'm not making a mistake by believing in a better tomorrow for a country that has only hurt me. You see, he does assure me, but sometimes I find it difficult to hear him through the noise.
I hope 2018 is kind to you and yours.
Happy New Year.
-- Ibiene
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