That Time I Nearly Had A Panic Attack In Saw Mill Market

I was shopping, right in front of the ponmo lady, when it started.

It's one thing to read about panic attacks, but to experience them?

I felt my body spinning out of control. My head felt light, my legs felt rubbery and my heart was pounding.

In the middle of Saw Mill Market, I felt out of control of my body. I nearly walked away from the vegetable lady with my change still in her hand. I was having issues remembering what I had left to buy. I wanted to get across the road but I was scared I might not see a passing car or keke or okada and would get knocked over.

It was very scary. I knew what I was suddenly so anxious about. It was right there at the forefront of my mind.

I got my phone out and started reading a scripture:

"When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your comforts delight me."
- Psalm 94:19

I read it over and over again.

That's what got me through.

I finished shopping, got myself home and lay down on the cold tiles in the living room.

This was in early September.

Yesterday, I felt like I was having another panic attack.

This time, it was about work. I had so many articles to edit and they were cascading over each other. My daughter was fussy and needed to be attended to, and I needed to meet my deadlines.

I felt my heart pounding and my head spinning again.

My husband attended to the baby and I was able to get some work done.

And then something happened.

After I was done with all the work, everything went quiet.

And I realised, that I had finished my work, the baby was asleep, and the world had not ended.

I know that a lot of my anxiety comes from my mind - I make what is a grain of sand a mountain.

It's easier said than done, but I know that His comforts do delight me.