The Abroaders

I think I have a problem with folks who have lived abroad for whatever amount of time (months, years, decades, centuries...) and find themselves back in this (horrible, horrible, horrible) mess of a country and can't get over how absolutely horrid and how unnecessarily aggressive and how exceedingly inadequate the country, the people, the government are. These people - whom I have labelled, for the purpose of this brief rant, 'the Abroaders' - complain about everything; no light, no fuel, too much traffic, too much dust in the air, too little oxygen.

If you fall into this category of people - Abroaders who lived abroad and can't get over themselves and never really wanted to come back but somehow found themselves in this dump again - I have an advice for you: Please either go back where you came from or get with the times and adjust - we don't need your negativity.

Too harsh? Sorry, but Nigeria is a hard country to live in as it is. The average Nigerian will tell you that. Government does whatever they want with the salaries of civil servants, Boko Haram has been pillaging the North-East since 2009, fuel will just one day wake up and decide to be scarce, your landlord is the devil in human flesh... the list is endless. And should you be angry? Yes. Be angry. But find a way of doing something productive with that anger other than just complaining about everything.

Whenever my father speaks about the Nigeria he grew up in, I just wonder. My pops had four job offers (from private and public sectors) before he left school. This was in the 70s. I left university with a Masters degree in 2012 and looked for a job for close to a year and even the job I have now doesn't utilize the skills I learnt at school - this one is another conversation for another day.

My point is: Please, Nigeria is hard enough without Abroaders running mouth about how: "Oh Em Gee, like in America, this would never like totally happen." Well, like, this is not totally America, is it? This is Nigeria.

Guys, I'm not going to defend any Abroader again that rants about Nigeria like she's a witch. I lived abroad for 15 years, came back and I've made the most that I can of it. Do I miss constant light? Yes. Do I miss BBC iPlayer, clean public buses, kebab shops and order? Yes. But I made the decision to move back home and I'm enjoying it. I suppose I've always had love for my country; I've always been a patriot at heart and I owe it to my parents who always speak life about this broken nation. Call us hopeless jokers, we will be hoping and joking for the duration of our stay here.

Yes, so that's my rant. Abroaders, I love you guys, okay? I have Abroader friends and I am low-key scared that one of them will read this and not be my friend again. Please, still be my friend. I'm a nice girl.