A Reflection on Myself

I was thinking the other day; that, if the Me of four years ago met the Me of today at a party or at some kind of social gathering, would they get along? 

I have changed drastically since I relocated home in January 2012, in a number of ways:

1. I am not as friendly as I used to be

Back then, especially when I was serving and working in Abuja, everyone was a potential friend; I would exchange numbers with you, be open to hangouts and would be kind of hurt if you didn't reach out when you said you would. Today, I am not readily willing to take or give my number to anyone (because I know you most probably will not reach out) and I keep my circle of friends tight; because humans are a lot to handle. I no longer make friends easily because most of the time I am not interested in making new friends, because 80% of the time my 'friendships' have died natural deaths, starved of attention and continuity. To a large extent, I have lost faith in people.

2. I no longer initiate conversations

Back then, whether I was at the hair salon, or on a bus, I was more willing to start a conversation with the hairdresser or with my fellow passenger. These days, I keep to myself and read a book. Most times I avoid eye contact and won't even look up to greet or smile at someone who walks into a room. Nobody has time for that.

3. I'm less willing to help strangers

Back then, I could go out of my way to help someone with directions or with a load they were carrying, or with some change. These days, to your tents, oh Israel. Everyone should stay in their own lane.

Nigeria has changed me almost in entirety. There are still lovely people here and there who are worth the extra mile, and a few (okay, like two people) I would give my right arm for, but for the most parts I keep my heart under wraps. When I was schooling in the UK, I had been hurt by people too. So it's beyond the Nigerian scope -- it's not a 'Nigerian thing'; people any and everywhere will take advantage of you, if you give them that room, and will actually suck your blood to their stomach's content. 

So, this 2016, my friends, expend your energy on people who are truly worth it. Don't go and give yourself hypertension because popular jingo or because "I'm just a nice person like that". Love with care, fam; it's a rare commodity these days.